I went for a late night show yesterday with my family. The hall was packed though two seats next to me were still empty. Just as the titles began to appear on the movie screen, two young men came to occupy the seats. On any other day I would have remained oblivious to their presence, enjoying the movie. But yesterday, I felt uncomfortable. I kept fidgeting in my seat not wanting to share even that common arm rest with a complete stranger. Pretty soon, I changed places with my husband who had taken the corner seat.
Back home, away from that public place, I sat thinking about my rather odd behavior. I prefer to know myself as a modern young woman. I am well educated, have worked late nights, hung out with friends, attended conferences and seminars, traveled alone within the city and around the country frequently. Changing places at a movie theatre just because a man happened to sit next to me is totally out of character. The only possible explanation I can think of is – it was the act of my subconscious female mind which still cannot come to terms with the horrendous gang rape of a fellow woman.
The thing is, on the outside, I am still the individual ready to face any challenge, compete at work, manage home and office, take on the world, but inside I am shaken, I am fearful and I am afraid that just a few steps away from home, perverted minds might be lurking in the shadows ready to nab me and treat me like an object merely made to satisfy their carnal instincts.
I can never board a bus ever. I will fear taking a taxi ride all alone. I will not even accidently enter the non-female compartments of a metro. I will not walk in a crowd in fear of the shoulders rubbing against me. I will not walk alone without glancing across my shoulders every second.
Yes, I do not want to be this coward. I do not want to look like a weakling who is scared of every gaze and every touch of the opposite sex. But that is what it has boiled down to because one girl as fun loving, as daring, as modern as I am was shattered to pieces so badly that even a lifetime is not enough for her to gather the pieces and regain her dignity.
Modern India is flooding with examples of women who have made a name for themselves, and made their country proud with their achievements. Politics, sports, arts, science, dance, theatre, every field has a name of a woman written in golden letters. Her achievements are not based on her gender. Her skills are not any different from her male counterparts. Her actions are not any lesser because she is a woman. But in spite of all the advancements, the only thing that matters in the end is the body she was born with and how it is ogled on in the man-centric world.
What happened to the 23 year old last Sunday was so ghastly that the tremors are being felt by each and every Indian woman. Shaken parents are back to restricting their daughters’ movements. Male escorts namely brothers, friends and colleagues are back in action. College girls want to remain in a group. Office goers are shying away from working late. So even though everyone agrees that the wrong doers were those evil men, the punishment of their sins are being faced by woman and woman alone.
From the moment girls are born in our country, our training begins. Sit in a certain way, dress in a certain way, speak in a certain way. Is it not time that the same grooming be given to boys? The guilty will hopefully get a life imprisonment, but when will all women be released from their life imprisonments? When will women be able to be part of a society where men treat them like a fellow human being and not just a toy to be fantasized, played and tossed around?
The guy sitting next to me in the movie hall might not even have noticed my exchanging places with my husband. Even if he did, he might not have thought the act to be odd. But that’s exactly what needs to change, doesn’t it? Men need to feel equally awkward and equally insecure when a woman treats them with such mistrust that she can’t even sit next to them in a movie hall for a few hours.
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